Melva Gifford

The following object lesson is a response to request I got from my website:

Quote: Hi Melva,
I am a school counselor in XXX. I have been looking around on the internet for some ideas for object lessons on the value of kindness or the value of empathy. I am going to be teaching a group of adults why creating opportunities for kindness in schools is critical in the fight against bullying. There is so much that goes along with this idea it seems. I would really like to find some object lessons or group activities I could have the adults do to really help break up the long boring (but critical) presentation I am giving. I was hoping you might have some great ideas you could share.
Unquote:

Getting a grip on kindness is a theme I hope can be of use to youth ministries, family devotionals, Sunday schools and family home evenings.

The type of people we are or can become is determined by our minute to minute decisions. There are multiple great examples in history of individuals who determined early in their lives what kind of people they would be.

The first example is George Washington to as a teenager became impressed with the book about. This book told about how to be a gentleman. It covered mannerisms and courtesy amongst other topics. George Washings devoted a lot of his time learning the principles in the book and then practice and them throughout his life. What kind of person did George Washington become? He became known as the indispensable man. When the founding fathers wanted to create the Constitution, they knew his presence would be essential to success of unifying the nation. Their request for his help brought up the quote. ‘Have I not done enough, my country? Even though he was weary from all the causes of fight and working toward the success of a nation. He still helped with the creation the creation of the constitution and in turn a nation. He became the only man people could trust to be a president who did not see power for himself. http://www.history.org/almanack/life/manners/rules2.cfm
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2010/05/08/george-washington-indispensable-man/

Another example of an individual who spend a great deal of time in improving himself was Ben Franklin. He would come up with various character traits that he wanted to improve on. Then he would devote time each day to one of those traits. He would practice on items per day and then the next day cover the next trait. Ben Franklin is famous for multiple reasons such as being a scientist, statesmen, ambassador, writer and contributor to the founding of America, but he also helped in improving himself by implementing the improving personal habits. http://www.georgeambler.com/5-personal-leadership-lessons-from-benjamin-franklin/

At third, more modern day is author / cartoonist Mary Flannery O’connor. She displayed the type of person she was not only for writing, but also how she interacted with people she knew.
http://www.123helpme.com/view.asp?id=49709

Here are some additional examples of behavior of successful people: modern day: https://blog.bufferapp.com/the-daily-routines-of-famous-entrepreneurs-and-how-to-design-your-own-master-routine

We in our youth and even in adulthood can determine what manner of man or woman we can and will be. It’s a matter of deciding and then implementing those actions. We can monitor our progress. Give ourselves encouragement when we are successful and self-critique ourselves when we are not successful. Maybe see what circumstances contribute to our non-success, so we can help change those circumstances to provide more frequent success.

Object lesson, get a grip on kindness
Objects for lesson: baby oil, paper towels, rubber bands, and dish washing gloves (that have the ridges on the external skin).

Have class members cover their hands liberally with baby oil. Divide up into pairs. Next, take turns with one person sitting on the ground and their partner standing. The one standing is to offer their hands to their partner to help them stand. Because of the slick of the baby oil they can’t get a good leverage. The one sitting must use the hand grip of their helper to stand.

Next have both wipe their hands on paper towels to remove the oil. Put their hands in dishwasher gloves, wrap rubber bands around the wrists to secure the gloves on the hands. Have the class members extend a helping hand to their partner sitting on the ground. Because of the firm grip offered by the gloves, they should successfully be able to aid the other.

The baby oil could be compared to apathy: we see challenges around us, but we if don’t know how we can influence those circumstances we may either ignore events or have feelings of apathy. Thus, we simply ignore the opportunity to help.

The dishwasher gloves can be compared to personal action and motivation. The textured exterior of the glove can be compared to multiple personal decisions that we make in our lives. Sometimes the sequence of events can make us have certain attitudes of compassion toward others, and the motivation to become personally involved if we see an injustice being done.

When we see an injustice being done we take action to prevent or stop it.

Let me give a personal example. I have a friend who was allergenic to everything. A second friend could not understand why she was always sick and was suspicious that her allergies was a ‘mind’ thing. The second friend a couple of years later got mono. Her perspective and empathy totally changed once she learned what it felt like to be ‘sick’.

Sometimes when we experience pain, we are more considerate of another’s pain. We know what it’s like. So when we help another. The textures of our past decisions and experiences provide a firm grip so that we can personally help someone else in helping them stand and succeed.

At different points in our lives we may have experienced something that was unfair. Those feelings of injustice can be compared to stopping bullying or showing kindness. The same can be made of kindness, in advance, we have those personal textures/ridges that empower us to be empathetic toward others, and we show kindness. And as we interact extend a hand of friendship and kindness to others. We help them succeed.

In advance to the class handout for personal paper that has this question written on. Think of a personal example was someone’s actions have made a specific positive example in your life, either by showing kindness or giving encouragement or time. Give an example of how someone, even if it’s a stranger, has done something that influenced your life? Have volunteers offer examples of how someone has influenced their lives, especially if it is a stranger.

If you have an alternative idea to help with this topic please feel free to share it in the comment second of this blog.