A Little humor:

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Who is in the mood for humor? Here are some links:

http://www.oocities.org/pezheadpaul/jokes/index.html

http://www.shoptcs.com/cjp/cjp_index.htm

http://www.ajokeaday.com/

http://www.cleanjoke.com/

http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/

http://jokes.christiansunite.com/

http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html

A website admin. contacted me and asked that add their website to the list: So here is another one: http://www.juicyquotes.com/funny-jokes/

Do you have humor sites to recommend?

A Little humor 3 – 23 – 2003

 

Who is in the mood for humor? Here are some links:

 

http://www.oocities.org/pezheadpaul/jokes/index.html

http://www.shoptcs.com/cjp/cjp_index.htm

http://www.ajokeaday.com/

http://digsitevalue.org/k/good-clean-jokes

http://www.cleanjoke.com/

http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/

http://jokes.christiansunite.com/

http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html

 

Do you have humor sites to recommend?

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Spelling Banquet

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Enforce a BAN so that you you can QUit EaTing

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Broadening our abilities in speech:

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Last week, and tonight I attended a Toastmasters meeting. I’ve been interested in this organization for some time, and am finally joining. I realize that as a storyteller. I need to improve my presentation skills, and it is my hope that this course will help me achieve that objective. There were some very nice people at both meetings.

As my blog, Rock soup, touches upon writing, storytelling, music, and even quilting, then why not speech? I would like to share some things I learned tonight about some of the do’s and don’ts when giving a speech.

There being three levels to the speech

1. Is informational ‘

2. To persuade

3. Inspire. He said inspiration is the most important level of speech should shoot for. I wager. Each of us have heard someone speak that has inspired us and that is a trait I would like to acquire.

–        The evaluator suggested that we engage our audience and excite them.

–        The body of an informational speech should be broken up into sections where you group similar topics together. That can help clarify the subject matter.

–        At the end of the speech you want to present a summary that will use some of the most important aspects of the content or body.

–        Some more advice I heard about speeches is that you want to avoid such phrases as him, you know, but, and etc.

–        another good point of advice I heard was that you don’t want to have a pronoun right after a noun. For example: Nathan, he went down the street is incorrect phrase. It should be Nathan went down the street.

–        The meeting seems to have different sections: there are those that assigned different tasks. One is a timekeeper, one monitors the is in and in the speech, one monitors taking notes of a speech to ask questions of the listeners. Later, and one is the moderator, etc.

If you have some things that you’ve learned about giving a speech, please feel free to share them in the comment section of this blog. Thanks.

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Fail-proof Bread: by guest blogger Rebecca Belnap

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My grandmother makes the best rolls I’ve ever tasted and I learned to make bread from her. I had tried to use her recipe but never got the good results that she did. It wasn’t until I moved in with her during college and actually got to see how she made bread that I realized how very different she made bread from what the recipe said. It wasn’t that she meant to misled, but none of the amounts matched the recipe and sometimes even the ingredients were different. “Everyone knows that potato water makes better bread.” I certainly didn’t  It never occurred to her that others might not know these techniques. What she used had a lot more to do with what she felt like tossing in than what the recipe said, but no batch ever failed because she knew what the dough needed to feel like if it was going to rise properly. Now I bake just like her and have no true recipe. At the end, I’ll include my “recipe” so you can see what I mean. These techniques can be used on any recipe to make it rise better.

Most bread recipes will make good bread but they often fail to explain the techniques of what to do with the dough once it’s mixed. Here is a list of the top 6 reasons for less than perfect bread (and it’s almost never bad yeast).

You followed the recipe – Too much or not enough flour. Flour absorbs moisture from the air. On a dry day it will suck up your liquid like a sponge and you will use less. If it’s raining outside you will need more. That is why most recipes will say something like 5 to 7 cups of flour. It really can make that much of a difference. Add flour ¼ cup at a time until your floured hands don’t stick. I can usually tell that it’s right when the dough stops sticking to the sides of the mixer and you can see almost to the bottom of the mixing bowl. You want it to still be soft enough that you couldn’t hold it in your hands very long before it oozed out to the floor. If it is too soft it can over-rise and then deflate. Best thing to do is practice and take notes on what works.

2. Not allowing the dough to rest before the first kneading. After I mix up all the ingredients I let the dough rest for 10 minutes before I knead it. This gives the gluten in the flour time to soften so it can stretch. I also don’t bother with proofing my yeast (yes, I can hear the horrified gasps for all the experienced bakers out there). Modern yeast is designed for bakeries that just toss everything in. It can take it, but it does need a little time to warm up and wake up so it can do its job. This rest period gives it time to do that.

3. Not kneading enough. If you have a good bread mixer like a Kitchen-aid or a Bosch, you can just set the machine to the kneading setting and leave it for about 7 minutes. If not you need to set the timer and do it by hand. Don’t be gentle. Folding it over and pushing it down works well. If it starts to stick add a little more flour, but be careful not to add too much or it will be both tougher to kneed and heavier in texture.

4. Not kneading it a second time. Most recipes tell you to let the bread double in size and then shape. Don’t just shape it, give it another minute of kneading. I know it can be really hard to beat down that lovely doubled dough, but if you don’t it will have lumpy areas or big air  pockets.

5. Poor shaping technique. If you are patting the dough into the right shape the same way you would a snowball, you are going to have lumpy or worse, flat bread. Bread and rolls rise because the gas bubbles get trapped in the dough. This works best if the dough is already stretched. For bread, take enough dough to fill your pan about 2/3rds of the way full. Use a rolling pin to roll out a rectangle as wide as the pan is long and about 15 to 18 inches long. Roll it up evenly and lay it into the bottom of a lightly greased pan. There are dozens of ways to form rolls, just make sure you use one that either rolls out the dough, or kneads the dough into a ball instead of just patting it. Do make sure you cover it with a clean dish towel so the dough doesn’t dry out. Let it rise until doubled in size again before you bake it.

6. Baking at the wrong temperature. A very hot oven causes steam quickly. I bake my pita bread as hot as the oven will go, about 500 degrees, for only a few minutes. The steam causes the pita to expand faster than the dough can cook so it blows up like a balloon that then deflates when you pull it out. This is great when you are wanting a pocket, but not so good for bread. Most of the time I bake bread at about 350 degrees for 50 min because I don’t want to cook the crust to over brown and get hard, but the French bread can be a little hotter maybe even 400 for about 25 to 30 min. The holes will be larger and the crust crisper.

If you are still having trouble, adding a Tablespoon or two of Dough Enhancer is a great way to add volume, and I do use this for my whole wheat recipes. Just be a bit careful not to use too much because as your technique improves it will become possible to overinflate the bread.

Basic Dough

2 cups hot liquid (water, milk, water that potatoes have been boiled in, even juice would work if you reduce or eliminate the sugar) hot but not so hot that you have to pull out your finger to avoid feeling burned.

5 to 7 cups flour (I never use just white flour – too gummy. My white bread has 1 cup of wheat flour in it. You can add 100% wheat, rye, or anything else you like. Rice flours don’t have glutton and can be more difficult to make rise.

1 to 2 TBSP Yeast (I’m a high altitude cook and never need more than 1 TBSP, I’ve been told by people at sea level that they always need 2.)

1 tsp. to 2 TBSP Dough Enhancer (This is usually found right by the yeast at the store. It helps to form the glutton better. In white bread I don’t use much if any, but with any other flour I always add it.

2 tsp. to 1 TBSP Salt (Technically an optional ingredient and the less you use, the better your yeast will work. I’ve left it out just to see and it was tasteless enough to be nearly inedible.

2 tsp. to 1/3 cup sugar (or honey. The 2 tsp is to feed your yeast. It needs to eat to do its job. Anything extra is to sweeten the bread. If you don’t have enough sugar for the yeast it will live on the flour and it starts to gain a slightly sourdough flavor. Great for sandwiches but not so good for cinnamon rolls.

0 to 1/2 cup oil or melted butter (fats help the bread to retain moisture. If you are eating it the moment it comes out of the oven, you can skip the veg oil, olive oil, or melted butter. It won’t be quite as rich, but it will still have a lot of moisture from the water. Anything longer than 1 hour, you’ll need some oil. ¼ cup is about right for most bread.

Other things you could add in would be:
An egg or 2 (gives flavor and a slightly different texture)
Herbs, spices, onion, roasted garlic (flavor) raisins, diced apples, nuts, brown sugar (Good to sprinkle on before you roll it up)
Just experiment and have fun with it.

bio: Rebecca Belnap developed a passion for food storage during the 15 years she spent flipping homes. Her book in progress “Two Tons of Wheat, But What Can I Cook for Dinner?” is a must for anyone trying to survive on an inconsistent income. Other interests include working with Autistic children, finish carpentry, quilting, gardening, and writing middle grade fiction. She lives in Lehi, Utah with her husband, three daughters, and two cats.

Note from Melva: If you have some suggestions on how to make better bread or some other baking/chef tips, please feel free to share in the comment section of the blog. Also keep an eye out for her book: Two Tons of Wheat, But What Can I Cook for Dinner?

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Compassion by example: by guest blogger Rhonda Johnson.

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Here is an example of compassion.

The best type of lesson of all.

Click on the link: As this blog has photos, it make take a bit of time to come up on your screen.

Melva

Borg Care Bears

rhonda’s bio:

I am from a small town in CT called Enfield. As a young adult, I drove cross country solo to UT where I’ve made my home. I currently live with 3 mixed Chihuahuas and 2 cats in a house that was originally built over a hundred years ago. I’ve known Melva for well over 30 years and consider her one of my best friends.

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A rising tide raises all ships:

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As I wish to have useful information on my site, I wanted to let you know that I’m going to add a new side bar. It will be called Writing Links. Sometime friends will share wonderful web sites or I will find them myself. It would be nice to have such a resource available to everyone so that info can be used to build everyone’s knowledge base. Thus I will have a page dedicated to such a list. This is in accordance to the theme: A rising tide raises all ships.

Happy reading, fellow writers.

In fact, do note the different variety of info on the side bar as it will continue to grow as I gain further useful information.

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Difference between Baron and barren

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Baron is the title for the lowest rate of English nobility. I used a mnemonic device of Ruling Over (RO) which reminds me of spelling Baron with one R and an O.

Barren is when someone cannot reproduce. A couple can try and try, but have no success. Therefore, I think of two Rs. The couple may not know if it’s the man or the woman who is barren and the letter E is in both he and her.

If you have an idea on how to remember the difference between these two words or have suggestions for the spelling, please feel free to share them in the comment section of this blog.

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Crucibles by guest Blogger Dave Farland:

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Dave and I have known each other for several decades. He and I were in a writing group called Xenobia. His wife, Mary and I went to the same mission. Dave is a very accomplished writer and always provides expert advice in his daily writing news \letter called Kick in the Pants. I would recommend that people subscribe to this newsletter.

In today’s blog Dave touches upon the topic of crucibles. Please also check out his books.

Recently Dave released a book geared toward writing titled Million Dollar Outlines. In it he discusses how to write a novel or screenplay that has a wide readership, giving it the potential to become a bestseller.

Some of his past writing students that have gone on to success include #1 New York Times Bestsellers such as Brandon Mull (Fablehaven), Brandon Sanderson (Wheel of Time), James Dashner (The Maze Runner) and Stephenie Meyer (Twilight).

Along with providing writers with outline and audience analysis methods, Dave also offers 28 “plotting tools” in Million Dollar Outlines. A plotting tool is basically a technique that can make your story more exciting, interesting, satisfying, or complete.

Today, Dave is going to share one with us: Crucibles

When we talk about writing, there are three kinds of crucibles—crucibles of setting, relationship, or condition. We’ll talk about those in a moment, but first we need to define, “What is a crucible?”

In metal-smithing, a crucible is a container used to hold metal or liquid as it boils. For example, to melt gold, one takes a heavy bowl made from steel and sets it in a fire. The steel, which can withstand higher temperatures than gold, doesn’t melt. But the small container quickly becomes super-heated, so that the gold liquefies in moments.

In fiction, a crucible is any setting, condition, or relationship that keeps characters (such as a protagonist and an antagonist) from splitting apart.

By forcing these characters to remain together, we may sometimes create an almost intolerable atmosphere. It allows us to super-charge the relationships, raise the heat.

For example, imagine that John and Mary have been married for years, but have grown apart. They decide that they don’t love each other anymore. The logical thing for them to do would be to divorce and split up, right?

But there’s no story in that! The characters could easily resolve the situation by leaving—so as a writer you need them to stay together.

So imagine that John and Mary have grown apart, but both love their six-month-old daughter. Neither is willing to end the relationship so long as they risk losing the child. Now you have a crucible, a binding force that keeps the two together.

But there are different kinds of crucibles. Maybe it is a child. But maybe you could do the same by putting them both in a car and having them get stuck in a snowstorm. The car is a different kind of container from the relationship, but both work to keep the couple together.

So here are the three different types of crucibles.

Crucibles of Setting

A setting may act as a crucible. You’ve all seen comedies where several people are stuck in a cabin in a snowstorm, and each of them is at the other’s throat. You will also quickly remember the movie “Snakes on a Plane,” even if you’ve never seen it. A crucible of setting might be a story set in your characters’ workplace, on a ship, or in a small town. The important point is to keep the characters together as much as possible, and to let personalities rub against one another until their tempers boil.

Crucibles of Relationship

You can never escape your family. You might try, but often the family relationship is a crucible. A child wanting to leave home is in a crucible in the same way that a father who must pay child-support is in a crucible. Any two people who are married are in a crucible, as are any two people who happen to just be in love.

I recall a fine western when I was young about two heroic cowboys who are both in love with the same woman. They are forced to band together to rescue her from a kidnapper. The men hate each other, and as the audience gets to know each man better, they both come to vie for our affections.

Soldiers in a squadron will find themselves in a crucible. For example, in The Lord of the Rings, those who had joined the Fellowship were thrust into a crucible—a small band of men forced to band together for their own protection. It may be that your character finds himself fighting beside someone he detests—a murderer or a rapist—and yet he is unable to walk away from the conflict.

A crucible may also be your conflict with your culture. We’ve probably all known various folks—Catholics, Jews, Muslims, etc., who try to leave their religion behind but can never stop talking about it. But it doesn’t have to be your religious culture. My father ran away from the Blue Ridge Mountains to escape the hillbilly lifestyle. I had a girlfriend who left her fine home in Southern California because she despised her family’s wealth. In the movie My Big, Fat Greek Wedding, we have a girl whose main conflict comes about when she is embarrassed by her ethnic roots.

Crucibles of Condition

An intolerable condition may also be a crucible—such as an illness that two very different characters may join forces to beat. We see this type of crucible used every week as Doctor House tries to solve the latest medical mystery. But you can also set your characters up to fight an economic or political condition—the hunger in India, the tribalism of North Africa.

The condition might be something as mundane as crime in the streets. Policemen who despise one another are often found joining forces to fight drug lords, rapists, and other types of crime.

So as you form your story, consider how you might strengthen your conflicts by developing one or more crucibles.

To learn about the rest of Dave’s plotting tools, or how to write for a wide audience, you’ll have to check out his book: http://www.amazon.com/Million-Dollar-Outlines-ebook/dp/B00B9JYJ6W/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Another plotting tool Dave teaches about is Resonance. He recently published a book entirely on that topic.

Personal note: Melva here, when I attended one of his writing workshops. He devoted several minutes to techniques on how to create resonance in fiction. He had some very, very good suggestions about how to use images to help promote a mood in a scene. So I wager that his book of Resonance would also be a good investment.

To subscribe to his writing advice newsletter. Check out this link: http://davidfarland.com/writing_tips/

Bio:
David Farland is an award-winning, New York Times Bestselling Author with over 50 novels in print. He has won the Philip K. Dick Memorial Special Award for “Best Novel in the English Language” for his science fiction novel On My Way to Paradise, the Whitney Award for “Best Novel of the Year” for his historical novel In the Company of Angels, and the International Book Award for “Best Young Adult Novel of the Year” for his fantasy thriller Nightingale—among many others.

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Bones of the body:

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I thought I could present this info from scratch but the web links I find are much more efficient. Here are the names to bones of the body:

http://www.meddean.luc.edu/lumen/MedEd/grossanatomy/learnem/bones/main_bone.htm
http://www.google.com/search?q=bones+to+the+body&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=yHI-UYKaGYfHrQGH6oG4Cw&ved=0CDMQsAQ&biw=1024&bih=614
http://www.sporcle.com/games/g/bones
http://www.getbodysmart.com/ap/skeletalsystem/skeleton/axial/skull/quizzes/menu/menu.html
http://www.google.com/search?q=bones+of+the+body+worksheet&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ei=_nM-Ucb4MtO5qQH26IB4&ved=0CC0QsAQ&biw=1024&bih=614

If you have any tricks of how you remember different parts of the body which includes bones, please feel free to share them in the comment section of this blog.

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Bad humor, when is humor inappropriate:

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I hope today’s blog will be of use for youth ministries, family devotionals, Sunday school classes, and family home evenings.

It’s interesting when one can make an attempt to be funny and it can result in being rude or discourteous. Let me give you a specific example. One of my current responsibilities at church is to prepare the program for the weekly meeting of the Relief Society. I make sure of all the announcements, birthdays and songs, etc. I frequently try to be funny, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. And today, I realized I went too far. This experience can be very useful in other parts of my life and especially in my efforts to teach or to do storytelling.

Today’s situation was that when I was folding one of the programs into an airplane. I wanted to fly it to the back of the room in an attempt of humor. I made some comment about the Spirit of St. Louis thinking of historical event of Charles Lindbergh flying his plane across the ocean. I then tried to compare it to the Holy Spirit, making a play on the word ‘Spirit’ and trying to compare the Spirit of St. Louis and the Holy Spirit, or more specifically the Holy Ghost. The joke fell flat. It wasn’t funny and it was an insult to one of the members of the Godhead, the Holy Ghost.

As a LDS person, or a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints, I believe that there are three distinct individuals that comprise the Godhead. God the Father, his Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost.

Even though the word ‘Spirit ‘was used in both Lindbergh’s plane and the Holy Spirit. I realized too late that it was inappropriate to try to reference the Holy Spirit in such a manner. I realized I was belittling the Holy Ghost unintentionally. I did have the opportunity to express my regret of making comparison to my small audience, and that my statements were inappropriate. I am glad I did. The experience gives me the opportunity to realize that as a person who attempts to do humor, I and perhaps others, need to be much more diligent in treating certain topics with better respect.

Let me give some examples of some Bible jokes I’ve heard:
1. Did you know that tennis was played in the Bible? For Joseph served in the court of the Pharaoh.
2. Do you know that there were 11 people in the Garden of Eden before Adam and Eve are cast out? During the temptation, Eve 8, Adam 2 and Satan 1, making the total to be 11.
3. Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Each of these jokes is funny and can be told in an appropriate manner and in an appropriate situation. But sometimes when we’re in public, and we might be amongst friends and fellow Christians, we might be tempted to make light of a religious topic. One example might be to make light the concept of chastity or one of the 10 Commandments. The thing I realize is that as a teacher I would want to be very cautious on what humor I present while in public. This also is a warning for me in private.

Maybe one thing that might help me, and others, remember what to avoid and what might have a little bit more flexibility with humor is to evaluate what I’m trying to say. Personally, I don’t have any jokes related to the last week of Christ life. I don’t particularly seek them out. But I suspect there could be humor created that might belittle the actions of Christ. If I would ever be tempted to use such type of humor, maybe I would resist doing so when I think of the significance of the last week of Christ life. I could envision the suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, his flogging and Christ being nailed on the cross. Christ gave up his life for me and the rest of God’s children.

Would I really want to be belittling such actions of the son of God with humor? Yet today I belittled the Holy Spirit. So today’s blog topic is dedicated to be a reminder of being more conscientious of what we might say casually. I caught myself too late in my humor today, but maybe the experience can teach me to be more cautious in the future.

Sorry Holy Ghost.

There’s many ways that we can add a rich variety in our religious dialogue and in teaching religious topics to children and our peers. We might be able to provide situational humor that can better emphasize a certain topic. An alternative might be to give a personal experience that gives relevance to the subject or to give a clean one-liner joke. We might even make reference to a newspaper article. Humor can have its place, and as the instigator of that humor we can determine when and how it is distributed.

Sometimes, humor can be used, and it can work out.

I have to admit, I can be a bit of a smart-alec. Once, during a lesson, a teacher asked: What does paradigm mean? I raised my hand and said ‘20 cents!’. Once I intentionally misspelled words on the board and told my class that I did it to tease the school teachers who were members in the class. They took it a good spirit. The thing I have to be careful of is to restrain myself in doing a one-liner joke that can break the reverent spirit that has developed during a lesson. Fortunately, I have been successful in resisting some of my temptations to blurt out a response, and the reverent spirit of the lesson is maintained. It is a constant struggle to keep my mouth shut.

If you have in the recommendations for this topic, you are invited to share them in the comment section of this blog.

Here are some sites that give some nice clean religious humor:
http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Religious.htm
http://www.anunseenworld.com/biblehumor.html
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1165/are-there-any-jokes-in-the-bible
http://www.answergrab.com/search/?q=bible+humor&t=U176469&sid=CM_rwCSvc1P-1Py6HQREGg&utm_source=U&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=U176469

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